Is your future narrative supporting you or stopping you?
Why do we need to think about our narrative, or the story we are telling ourselves and others based on our deeply held assumptions? Why is it so important? Especially at a time where the world is coping with a pandemic.
So much of our daily living is infused with a narrative or story about ourselves, the way the world works, how people really are, what to expect from life and so on. And sadly, and it seems often, we manifest the stories and narratives we are telling ourselves. What makes it sad, is that we often tell stories that are limiting when we can be telling a different narrative. One that is more generous. A narrative where we are not a victim, or casualty of some kind.
We learn to form a narrative early in life. In fact, we learn a few different narratives depending on who the significant adults are in our daily lives. If we were lucky to land in a family, or social context where good narratives are playing out, we have a head start in life. Unfortunately, most people seem to have to work on creating new narratives throughout various stages of their lives. Which means we have to start examining our assumptions on everything…. quite a task!
The reality of our world of unconscious assumptions
I remember the first time I was asked the question: “What are you assuming about…” (and the nature of the topic is not relevant). What happened next for me though, was an eye-opener – I felt offended that someone would think that I was assuming anything at all, because ultimately, I surely knew - for fact - the source of my thinking or feeling was based on something more concrete than an assumption.
I was wrong. I came to discover that my entire basis of thinking and decision-making rested on a library of assumptions that I have been building over the course of my life. And this formed the basis of the narratives I held on all aspects in my life.
I was devastated at first, and then felt the glimmer of liberation creep in as I realised that for the first time ever, I was learning to examine, question, even interrogate in the most benign manner, the deeply held beliefs and assumptions that influence and direct my thinking, my narratives and actions.
Even more liberating, I also learned that many assumptions I held were in fact not true and that I could replace them with alternative assumptions. This sets up new narratives that are more supportive and enabling of my goals and dreams.
I also learnt that some assumptions are in fact true and that I need to dig a bit deeper, to find that bed-rock assumption that was in the way of my creative problem-solving faculties.
And I discovered that sometimes, I can find a credible alternative that equally frees up my ability to think a decision or issue through with imagination, pragmatism and courage until I land on the way forward…. and that I actually can feel it in my body as my energy rises and I get fired up into action mode.
‘If you knew you can re-write your narratives by interrogating your assumptions, what would you do?’
This is called an Incisive Question (IQ) from the Thinking Environment® body of work developed by Nancy Kline.
An IQ is a simple and profoundly powerful way of starting to develop new narratives that are filled with imagination, courage and vision of what else is also possible and available to you.
When we have developed the habit of consistently challenging our narratives by investigating the underlying assumptions; substituting the untrue and limiting assumptions with a liberating alternative in order to ask ourselves the question: "If I knew...", a new world of possibilities opens up.
Imagine what you would be creating in your life. Imagine how you would be feeling about your life…. surely this is worth exploring and trying out?
This article was originally published on LinkedIn by Shift Practitioner, Catherine Duvel. Cathy is a Leadership Consultant and Thinking Environment specialist who is passionate about equipping organisations to cultivate environments that support individuals and teams to become their best and do their best for themselves, their businesses and communities.